by Mina Kakaiya
This Valentine’s Day, recite a love poem to yourself!
I am love
I am beloved
I am me
I am enough
For some of us, Valentine’s Day can evoke feelings of lack of love, acknowledging the loved ones in our lives, or those we found, lost, had to let go of, or have yet to find.
From the time we are born, we are taught that love is a conditional game. Our life experiences tell us that if we behave and think in the way others want us to be, then they will love, adore and accept us. Conversely, if others do not behave or think the way we want them to, we don’t love them back. And so the cycle of conditional love begins: we start looking for love and happiness in all wrong places.
The true essence of TRUE LOVE is an emotional journey of how we feel and think about ourselves, others and the world around us. True love begins from a place of self- love and appreciation. Acknowledging our innate SELF is LOVE. We disconnect ourselves from our true loving self when we are in emotional pain, struggle or confusion from life experiences that come to us, warts and all. Often, we don’t practise enough or place emphasis on feeling worthy, or regularly find time for things that make us feel good.
The journey of TRUE LOVE is one that starts with YOU. It is the relationship with YOU. The unconditional love of self-acceptance with gentle kindness and compassion, without judgement of past, present or future. Finding good feelings and appreciation of what is here and right now no matter how general or mundane it may be.
It also about being able to express your genuine and authentic self. Know that you are unique, you are enough and beautiful inside out just as you are right now. Discover and honour what is important and matters to you by reconnecting with your passion and purpose, no matter how big or small.
Time to fall in love with yourself every day
Here are three daily practices to help you appreciate the whole of who you are right now. It’s time to set your mood dial button with deliberate daily intent and focus!
- Allow time for self-love: focus on caring about the way you feel. Gently allow yourself to shift your deliberate attention from a place of dissatisfaction to satisfaction. Ease the pressure on yourself and do more of what makes you feel better, or good to you right now. Find ways to see the glass is always half full. Focus away from what’s lacking, or negative aspects in your current life, and move towards positive aspects of your life that can improve your mood and make you feel better. Give yourself a positive self-talk, listen to affirmations, have a nap or take time out, seek humour and have fun, pray or meditate, listen to music, dance, connect with others, spend time on your hobbies or interests.
Say things to soothe yourself like “it will be ok, it will work out, clarity will come, I don’t have do it or know it all right now, I can talk to someone, I can ask for help and guidance, I know what will be help me right now, what helped me before to get through a difficult time last time, rest and relax, this is temporary, it will pass”.
Exercise: make a list of the things you love and appreciate about yourself and then another list of what others love and appreciate about you. Look at this daily and add to the list you.
- Good Morning my love time: press your reset mood button. Set yourself a good morning vibe. As you wake up in morning, set the alarm 15 to 30 minutes early before you jump out of bed and start the day. Take care about the way you feel. Notice and appreciate where you are right now. Feel worthy and be kind to yourself. Do this every day.
Exercise: practise quietening the mind (no thoughts) or meditating for 15 minutes. Or just notice how comforting the bed covers feel, how cosy and warm you feel, or listen to the sounds of nature.
- Good Night my love time: press your reset mood button. Set yourself a good night vibe. As you get into your bed and lie down, take 15 minutes to care about the way you feel. Be thankful for that things that are important to you right now, by noticing and appreciating where you are. Do this every night.
Exercise: notice that no matter how difficult or challenging the day may have been, focus on the things you appreciate right now. Just pay attention on the things that made you feel good in the day or right now. How comforting the bed covers feel, how cosy and warm you feel. Feel worthy and be kind to yourself. Practise this for 15 minutes every night.
Keep a journal or note book and notice the difference and you will begin to feel and be able to bounce back quicker into your inner wellbeing following these practices.
And above all, know:
I am love
I am beloved
I am me
I am enough
- Mina Kakaiya is a wellbeing coach, public speaker, and author. She teaches mental health awareness and mindfulness to guide and uplift people towards unlocking their own true unique potential towards personal transformation and wellbeing. You can connect with her on LinkedIn. She is also a contributor to the new book You Are More Than Enough.